Smooth Criminals!

Thank you to everyone who entered the If You Were a Criminal, What Kind of Criminal Would You Be (in 50 words or fewer) contest! We have our winners!

Congratulations to:

Sharyn Carpenter
Renata Barcelos
Andrew Sutcliffe

You each win a signed copy of  CRIMINAL and a snazzy CRIMINAL t-shirt, PLUS, as a special surprise, AudioGo is sending you the audio version of CRIMINAL for FREE!

Now for the entries:

Sharyn Carpenter:
I am an INDELIBLE CRIMINAL who is BEYOND REACH.  I have FALLEN in with the wrong crowd; been FAITHLESS to my friends; BROKEN and FRACTURED every promise; UNDONE and BLINDSIGHTED by my FAINT COLD FEAR I will not win a cool, tagless t-shirt.

Renata Barcelos:
I’d be…arrested.
I’m pale as a ghost, and I get instantly red at the thought of being caught doing something wrong.
Plus, I’m clumsy as hell. So, my only use as a criminal would be distracting the police stumbling in my two left feet while my partners robbed everything…

Andrew Sutcliffe:
I would be the world worst Michael Jackson impersonator. I’d charge in advance and never turn up becoming rich on the misfortune of others. With all the money I get from this mass amount of fraud I’d be dressed to impress. I’d be a Smooth Criminal.
Who’s bad? Heee! Heee!

Honorable mention (because we liked it even though there are only supposed to be 3 winners):

Vicki Parsons:
If I were a Criminal, I’d be the kind of Criminal that WIll Trent has to track down. Why? Cause, c’mon, he’s WILL freaking TRENT!!! Plus, I bet he’d bring his handcuffs! IJS.

Vicki will win something we haven’t decided upon yet, but it will probably involve a faux-fur lining of some sort. (IJS*)

(* Figure that out yet? We’re just sayin’ keep guessing.)

We’d also like to acknowledge that Robin Hood was almost as common a theme as Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal. And no small number of you have issues with how politicians are making decisions about what money to spend where. Save The Libraries, yo!